I could feel a relapse coming on which scared me but I was happy that I could recognise the signals and ask for help. I noticed I dropped all snacks and I was starting to make my main meals smaller. I also noticed that I wanted to start intermittent fasting again to lose the weight … Continue reading Asking for help.
Month: May 2021
Rest and self compassion.
Today was another hard day for me but for other reasons I woke up feeling rundown physically and mentally. Normally I would make myself walk on the treadmill no matter how bad I felt I would make myself do everything I needed to do again no matter how about I felt. To me not getting … Continue reading Rest and self compassion.
Taunting.
I am struggling today I am having very strong eating disorder thoughts. It is really difficult not to act on them. The main thought I am having today is the eating disorder challenging me to beat my longest fast ever. It is taunting me telling me that I am not strong enough or good enough … Continue reading Taunting.
Outgrowing clothes and triggers.
I can tell that I am not coping today just seems really difficult. I find myself wanting to go back to unhealthy coping mechanisms. I feel completely overwhelmed I feel speechless I feel scared I feel afraid. Today has been a hard day because I went through my wardrobe I sorted out clothes that no … Continue reading Outgrowing clothes and triggers.
Body image.
I am struggling with my body image because I can feel myself getting bigger especially in my stomach and my thighs. I can feel and see a stomach roll when I sit down. I worry if I can see it then other people can see it and other people are judging me more than I'm … Continue reading Body image.
Fear foods.
I really feel like fighting an eating disorder is like an internal war every meal is a battle an internal war. The eating disorder is the enemy and must be destroyed at all costs. Today I fought back and I won victory was mine. I felt proud of myself I I felt like I had … Continue reading Fear foods.
Fear food challenge.
EDU Day 19:The eating disorder is quite loud today and it is scary. I keep reminding myself some days will be easier than others. I know no matter how hard things are today thar I HAVE to follow my meal plan. I refuse to fall for the lies this horrible disease will tell me. I … Continue reading Fear food challenge.
My recovery from a life time of eating disorders. 